Front Gate of Broken Dreams

          

                The University of the Philippines, the school where I want to study at when I enter college. The school that has no uniform. The school you can enter wearing your pajamas. The school where smart and successful people came from. The only excellent public school I want to enter and take up Mass Communications.

                I really want to study there, badly. It was obvious that I was interested in entering UP because I was the only student who filled up the application forms and did it seriously. I wanted to go an apply earlier but because we live a million miles away, we couldn't go right away. My mom told me to mail it but I disagreed because I want to pass my application personally. My mom then told me to go there on a school day but I still disagreed because I wanted a perfect attendance at school and so that I won't miss anything in class. There was one weekend that I could but it was my grandfather's birthday and I wasn't allowed to go. Mom and I just made a deal that we would go on August 2, the day of the UPCAT.

               Going to the city is not quite simple for us because its too far away. We are not even familiar with the place. The transportation is expensive and it takes two hours before we arrive. My mom and I made a deal, half of my allowance will be my transportation payment. I also did everything to make my step dad allow me to take the test there because he wants me to take up nursing in a different school.

                August 2 we went to the city. I was excited and nervous because I will finally have the chance to step on the ground of UP and take the exam without any review whatsoever for five hours. I was also a bit worried that I won't be able to take the exam because we passed my application forms on the day o the exam. When we arrived I was so happy and said, “wow! This is my future school! Oh and there is my future schoolmates!”. We hurriedly went out of the taxi.

                The guard didn't allow us to go inside. On test day students will not be allowed to enter without the test permit. The test permit is given to you if you're application form was processed before the deadline and then deadline was August 1, just yesterday. I felt so sad thinking that the gates of the only school I want to enter won't let me in. I felt so bad that I started crying there while my mom was arguing with the guard. Rules are rules said the security guard and told us that we have no chance to take the test for school year 09-10. I couldn't swallow the truth and tears wouldn't stop falling.

              My mom and I sat at the cement seats right in front of the school gate, while I was crying. I never felt as sad as what I felt that time. It was worst than crying over a guy or crying because my parents fought, It was my only dream and want. I noticed that my handkerchief is lost and realized that I must have left it at the taxi because we hurriedly went out of the taxi. We we're sitting there for a long time because I was crying and my mom won't stop telling me that I wouldn't listen to what she told me that I should have mailed or went there earlier.

             I don't know who to ask that why did this happen to me. Why didn't fate allow me to NOT enter the school I wanted, the school I dreamed of and the only school where I will do my best and show all my abilities. I was really determined and infatuated with the school that I didn't care about all the other universities in the city.

            I had a little bit of hope with help of a stranger guy that my mom tried to ask if he could secretly enter the school to pass my application. The guy said the he can't do that because we can't apply anymore if its already testing day. He told us how great and what benefits UP give to the lucky students there that made me cry more. He told us that I could enter a different school then enter UP the next year but I go back to zero and must prove that I am worthy to enter the school. Hearing that I was given hope and challenge to enter and graduate Mass Communications in the University of the Philippines. (After a Year- Arrrrrgghh.)